Questions? We’re here to help (888) 282-9777
Questions? (888) 282-9777
  • Location: ,
  • Years experience:
  • Website:


There is a Buddhist saying that enlightenment is not about addition but rather subtraction.

And in this vein, last month, I decided to attend Warrior Sage's Illumination Intensive.

I was feeling the need for some spiritual R&R and loved Satyen Raja's company. He spoke of this process as the fastest proven method to have a direct experience with Source. I have in many different forums had direct experiences of connection to Source, from having the whole room turn to Gold light for the entire evening to communing with Source on a daily basis as spectacular serendipity and magic. And so I was excited to go to this workshop, looking forward to 4 days dedicated solely to Bliss.

What I didn't realize is that this particular process starts with the premise that we as souls are illumined to begin with, but that as we go through the process of life, we build up layers and layers of patterning, stories and protection (I call it spiritual plaque) that can hide our light from one another as well as ourselves. The purpose of the Illumination Intensive was to break through the plaque so that we reconnect with our true essence and have a direct experience with our own illumined self.

Their concept of direct experience has an infinite range of demonstration, everything from having an instant physical healing where old aches and pains are instantly relieved, to suddenly finding oneself frozen in a state of complete awe at the knowingness of one's connection to all things and the exquisiteness of our true nature as pure life force energy (this was my experience Saturday morning over a bowl of cold oatmeal.)

I also didn't know that this was NOT to be a silent event, by any stretch of the imagination. The technique that they employed was to sit in front of stranger and ask them a single question (this question would be the only question used for the entire 4 day retreat). Our job when answering the question was to let whatever wanted to surface in that moment to do so and to then communicate whatever we felt fully and completely to our partner (without touching them). This formula was called a diade.

We were not to repeat partners.

As we began, people started to communicate, the din of voices distracting me from focusing on my partner. I got still and started to answer the question. Hours later, I had witnessed within me a variety of emotions from boredom to laughter to awkward self-consciousness.

Lunch that day was vegetarian and sparse. We came back into the room to start again and as the hours passed ripples of emotion would move through the body of 80+ people. With each diade, I began to hear the common concerns, fears, regrets, and then came the yelling and screaming.

At one point in the evening, I wondered if this was a shape-shifting conference. I joked with my partner that I ought to have brought a tazer, so many wild creatures seemed to occupy the room. But then I came to a much more somber realization, that as much as I am love and teach about love and being love, I had, in my role as a spiritual coach been separating myself from others. And no wonder, as the shadow sides of people surfaced, the jealousies, the greed, the self-hatred, viciousness, woundings, unforgiveness, even murderousness.

As the days passed, however, the layers and layers of pent up aggression, pain and anguish began to melt and I noticed that people were walking differently, ever so slowly, that faces were beginning to open, and as I listened to each partner with complete presence I marveled at the absolute brilliance of each and every human being, the depth of their contemplations, the common desire to love and be of purpose, the humor, the profound insight and the wisdom coming from so many different points of view.

And then it hit me, late in the evening on the 3rd night, at what was perhaps literally the 11th hour, after hearing my partner ask me the question I had been asked hundreds of hundreds of times. I looked over the sea of faces and I said, to her, without any idea what was going to come out of my mouth, "I'm so very humbled by the beauty of the people around me. I believe I'm ready to have a child." And at that moment, I heard the giggle of a little girl. There were no children at this event.

It sent shivers all over my body. I have always been on the fence when it comes to the idea of having a child, largely because of wanting to make sure that I was clean and clear about my intentions. I wanted to make sure that I felt fulfilled creatively before I brought another being into this world and not to project any longings or unfulfilled desires. But what I didn't know was that a large part of why I hadn't wanted a child was that up until that point, I had not trusted humanity enough to bring another child into the world.

But it was only at this precise moment that it dawned on me that it was not a question of whether or not humanity was trustworthy, it was a question of my perception of humanity, my own projections through my separation that kept this expression of Spirit at bay. Just as my work with the Beloved helps shift women's perspective on Love and then Beloved Men start to show up, my shift in perception of humanity was necessary for me to open up to bringing into the community another being.

When I came home and shared the news with Drew he was delighted and since then he has seen her presence around us, (other friends have been seeing her for years) but now even my parents called us to see if I was pregnant. I don't intend to be for awhile but now I am delighted to be communicating with her and boy is she brilliant.

All my love,
Bella Shing

If you would like publish this article, you have permission as long as you include this complete information with it:

Bella Shing is a Spiritual Love Coach who helps people who believe in the Law of Attraction to Manifest their Beloveds by understanding first and foremost how to be that for themselves.

She publishes the monthly "Beloved Training" Ezine where you'll get Tips, Resources, and Inspiration on how to be the Beloved all the time. Get your Free subscription at:

email us at:
phone: 831-427-3490
visit us on the web at: